Earthen Vessels

Isaiah 45:9

Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker,

an earthen vessel with the Potter!

Does the clay say to him who fashions it,

"What are you making?"

or "Your work has no handles?"

I don't have the seemingly unshakable faith that some people appear to have. I'm alternatively amazed by, inspired by, humbled by, or even exasperated by people who seem to be as familiar with God as I am with my own earthly father. People who speak with a gentle, trusting and humble faith tend to be my favorite people in the world, whereas those who have what I see as an arrogant, unbending and closed-to-discussion certainty of their version of God challenge me to keep my words kind of non-existant. But all I know is -- I have neither.

Sometimes I wonder if there is really a God who hears each prayer as clearly as if it was words spoken between roommates. But throughout my life I have always prayed, sometimes more or less. Lately it's been a lot more than ever, even though my faith was becoming so shaky and vague. And it's been quite interesting. It seemed like I was doing quite a good job of shaping my life. I had a good life in many ways, and even Godly people told me so. But they didn't see some of the struggles which I didn't have the strength to deal with. Ever since I stopped trying to be the potter, and started asking God to do that job--almost an experiment, if you will, though my faith was weak--my life and heart have been formed in incredible ways. I am not one to make bold claims about the nature of God, and I have not been a big evangelizer. My own faith is and has been too weak. But if this keeps up, maybe that will change, and it already is. I have made clumbsy pinch-pot attempts to reshape my heart in the past, but lately it's been as if a young art student's first attempt got thrown onto the pottery wheel and completely reworked by the master.

John 14:13-14

And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

In the last couple days, I think that I have seen every bible verse that says this basic thing. I think it is to confirm that it is right to make sincere, righteous and unselfish requests to God in prayer. This is different than quarelling with Him or telling Him that he is making his pottery wrong. In fact, by allowing Him to be the potter, I feel that He is forming my heart into one that desires the things He wants to do anyway. So I am asking for things that already may be on His agenda, so to speak. Perhaps, He uses the timing of that thing that He already chose to do to confirm His presence and power, by doing it right when it was prayed about and therefore fulfilling his promise to answer sincere prayers in Jesus' name.

Matthew 6
Giving to the Needy 1 “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.
2 “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Prayer 5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
9 “This, then, is how you should pray:
“‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, 10 your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us today our daily bread. 12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.’
14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Fasting 16 “When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 17 But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18 so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Treasures in Heaven 19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. 23 But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
24 “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.
Do Not Worry 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Isaiah 58

In biblical tradition, three is a number of great significance. In the first 20 years of my life, I think that I may have read or heard Isaiah 58 perhaps three times. Maybe. So I found it significant when I came across that very convicting chapter of the bible three times in less that 24 hours through no intention of my own.

Some or all of it was read in chapel yesterday, and I thought "those were some good verses" shortly before forgetting all about them.

Late that night I sat in the prayer room, eyes closed in attempted meditation, breathing in and out deeply, intending each exhalation to signify the worries and distractions leaving my being, making room for God's spirit to flood in like a rush of life-giving oxygen replenishing deflated lungs.

"Fill me with you alone," I prayed, but remnants of show tunes danced through my mind. I sat there for a long time, determined that God would reward my patience and that if the distracting thoughts did not leave, it meant I was not being patient enough and meditating long enough. It makes sense that God would desire discipline in seeking Him; that He doesn't simply provide a quick fix for those who suddenly realize they would like to be filled with God. But eventually I felt that the best spiritual benefit I was receiving was that which comes through having clean lungs to sing God's praises with. My eyes almost flickered open, but a part of me couldn't fail, couldn't allow all that time spent in meditation to end without significance. My eyes stayed closed as if my eyelids were magnetized. Clearly patience was winning out. But for some reason it seemed wrong. Again my eyes attempted to open, but I refused their instinct. This happened a couple of times before a strange determination rose up inside of me and I threw open my eyes to stare at the bright yellow wall in front of me. I grabbed my bible and flipped it open, and my sight fell onto Isaiah 58. I didn't recall it from chapel due to the name, but I started to recognize it as I read. This time I read slowly and paid close attention to each sentence.

Isaiah 58

True Fasting

1 “Shout it aloud, do not hold back.

Raise your voice like a trumpet.

Declare to my people their rebellion

and to the descendants of Jacob their sins.

2 For day after day they seek me out;

they seem eager to know my ways,

as if they were a nation that does what is right

and has not forsaken the commands of its God.

They ask me for just decisions

and seem eager for God to come near them.

3 ‘Why have we fasted,’ they say,

‘and you have not seen it?

Why have we humbled ourselves,

and you have not noticed?’

“Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
and exploit all your workers.
4 Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,
and in striking each other with wicked fists.
You cannot fast as you do today
and expect your voice to be heard on high.
5 Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
only a day for people to humble themselves?
Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed
and for lying in sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
a day acceptable to the LORD?

6 “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness^[a^] will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
11 The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
12 Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

13 “If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
and the LORD’s holy day honorable,
and if you honor it by not going your own way
and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,
14 then you will find your joy in the LORD,
and I will cause you to ride in triumph on the heights of the land
and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob.”
For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.

For a while longer I read in the bible, then decided to engage in another spiritual discipline -- prayer.

"Dear God," I started off, intending to incline my heart towards humility and receptiveness, "I don't know what your will is, but please just give..." again something in me revolted and I threw my eyes open in rude interruption to my prayer. Yes I do! Don't I already know what His will is, and isn't it for me to be kind, selfless, to give my life for the good works that He has prepared for me? Again I grabbed my bible and opened it up, and my eyes fell upon the words of Luke 6:35 -- "But love your enemies, do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return."

The surrounding verses laid it all out pretty plainly as well.

Luke 6.

20 Looking at his disciples, he said:

“Blessed are you who are poor,
for yours is the kingdom of God.
21 Blessed are you who hunger now,
for you will be satisfied.
Blessed are you who weep now,
for you will laugh.
22 Blessed are you when people hate you,
when they exclude you and insult you
and reject your name as evil,
because of the Son of Man.

23 “Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets.

24 “But woe to you who are rich,
for you have already received your comfort.
25 Woe to you who are well fed now,
for you will go hungry.
Woe to you who laugh now,
for you will mourn and weep.
26 Woe to you when everyone speaks well of you,
for that is how their ancestors treated the false prophets.

Love for Enemies

27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.

32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

Judging Others

37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Once I got done with some reflexion time and talking with Tyler and Trevor, plus starting my Gospels and Acts homework, which was a summary of the entire Old Testament with many short answer-response type questions, I didn't go to bed until almost 2 am with much of the homework unfinished. So the next morning, after Tyler and I got up at 7:00 and read a couple chapters from Matthew together, I skipped my usual Tuesday/Thursday morning nap and finished the homework instead. Our teacher had chosen excerpts from the Old Testament all the way from creation to the Book of Maccabbees. About 800 pages of scripture had been pared down to 20. And among all the historical accounts he chose, one passage really stood out. It was the entire chapter of Isaiah 58. Even though I felt rather familiar with it at that point and was cutting it very close on time, I read the entire thing very carefully.